Dear National Republican Congressional Committee:
After reading a couple of very interesting blog posts today, I took a look at your website. It only took me a minute or two to identify some of your party's biggest problems. I know you didn't ask for my advice, but I'm going to give it to you anyway. I have to. I firmly believe that a healthy and loyal opposition party is vitally important to the success of any democracy, so I would be failing in my patriotic duty if I did not.
Your first and most obvious problem may be the hardest to fix: You Have No Issues!!!
Seriously, that's not good. I know you've been trying to avoid acknowledging this for a while now, but if you want people to vote for you, it really, really helps if you're actually for something. It's not enough to be against things:
A list of the other guy's "dirty laundry" really doesn't qualify as an issue. Or, for that matter, as being for something. I know it's fun to beat up on the other folks, but it might just possibly be more important to worry about figuring out what your issues are before you talk about other people's dirty laundry.
Labeling the "dirty laundry" as "press releases" doesn't count as an issue, either. But maybe one of those people that your press releases say you've hired can help you come up with some. If, that is, they're not all out looking for more laundry.
Something else that might help you is having some sort of ability to recognize reality:
It's not an accomplishment if it didn't work.
I apologize if I was saying things that you already know, but I figured that it would be good to err on the safe side - particularly since it looks like you don't even know just how bad you're losing.
(You need more than 16 seats, guys. That's been true for a while now.)